The Way to the Heart
by Dr. Breifs Cat
Summary: G Gundam. Episode 31: While Rain ministers to Chibodee, Domon lets his own inscurities plague him in this moment of uncertainty.


**The Way to the Heart**

                "What am I doing?"

                Lying on my back at some unknown hour of the night on the deck of the old man's fishing boat, I had to admit even I didn't know why I had stayed here for so long.  I knew in way--I was waiting for Rain to return, but even that brought me no real answers.  I had been the one to encourage her to help Chibodee Crockett, going so far as telling her to avoid Karato and take a few days off.  It had only been several hours, and I was already waiting for her to return.

                What should it bother me that she had yet to come back?

                My thoughts turned to Hoi and Min's conversation earlier.  They, too, had stayed up later than normal waiting for their 'sister,' worried she may not come back.  Hoi said she would because she likes me, but Min insulted him for saying so.  While I'm not sure I agree with her proclamation of knowing more about a woman's heart than Hoi, she did retreat when confronted, after all, I can't help but lean more towards her attitude.

                What does Hoi know about any of us?  He's young, very young and probably still sees life the naive, black and white way kids do.  Living in a battlefield every four years hasn't hardened him like it did Sophia and her brothers in Neo-Italy.  

                What could he know about what Rain and I have been through?  The Gundam Fight is serious business; we've come to work.  Neither of us is looking for that sort of personal involvement.  The thought had never even crossed my mind before a few days ago.  Hoi had defended Rain against Chibodee's last advance, but I had sided with my Neo-American opponent then, however hesitantly.  It was true, Rain had no ties to me like that and he could ask her out if he wanted.  I had never given serious thought to Rain and I in such a relationship.

                So why can't I stop thinking about it now?

                It must just be because she isn't here.  I'd heard the phrase 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' and this proves it.  

                Not that I wasn't fond of Rain before.  She is my partner and my friend.  In the past eleven months, we've gone through so battles, more than Gundam Fights, but battles of another sort as well.  Ones I would not have been equipped to fight without her.  I dedicate myself fully to the Fight, and so does she.  Maybe it's because of that we've seen more of the other than we should.  

                I try not to think what I'll be doing after the Fight.  That is a distraction I don't need, especially with _Shishou--with Fuhai Toho still lingering.  I defeated him soundly in past though, using both the Shining and God Gundams.  With the more powerful God Gundam in the entire battle, beating him once and for all shouldn't be a problem, just something that requires focus._

                I had always just assumed when the Fight was over, Rain would still be my partner.  I never thought to question 'my partner in what?'  I've become so used to her being there.  Perhaps that was something I should have stopped myself from doing.  After the Fight is over, there is nothing holding her to me, outside my wanting her to stay.  It never occurred to me before now that that may not be enough.  She had her own life once...  Who am I to say she won't want it again?

                This entire situation is giving me nothing but doubts.  What happened to me here?  To my self-assuredness and confidence?  The answer is nothing happened to me.  Something happened to Chibodee, something Rain is trying fix.  She's a doctor.  She's not unloyal, she hasn't left me like so many others, she cares about her friends.  

                So here I am, wondering about everything.  I want to say that it will all return to normal once Rain comes back, but in thinking about all of this, I may have gone too far from where we used to be.  I don't know if I'll be able to even look at her without wanting to know if Hoi is right.  A point of stability such as a crew member should not be a distraction!

                What I am doing?

                I know what I'm doing.  I'm waiting for Rain to come back to me.

                What I am doing to myself?

                ...

                I don't know...

                What is she doing to me?

                ...

                I wish I knew...

**Sore de wa...Gundam Fight!  Ready? Go!!**

**Disclaimers: What part of G Gundam do I own?  Oh, just NOTHING.**

**Author Notes: The time is now 5:39 AM.  I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this.  And all I have to say for myself is "Gah!  SHORT!"  Episode 31...Yay!**


End file.
